Thursday - 2/22/07

2:02 PM Michael: WAH
Paul: fuck you too, mike
2:03 PM Michael: geez
just, sigh, geez
i mean
damn
2:04 PM Paul: have i offended your sensibilities?
Michael: you have
you're a man on many offenses
2:05 PM Paul: so she e-mailed me today
Michael: oh?
Paul: and it has made me feel fucking shitty, of course
Michael: of course
did she say anything substantial?
Paul: her email: [redacted]
2:06 PM response:
yeah, this is pretty impersonal.come get your bike whenever you want. it's locked up so no one can waltz in and steal it. one of the people with a key will have to be home to unlock it.
2:07 PM Michael: that's a tough one
seriously shitty
2:08 PM is this the first time she's come to pick up stuff?
Paul: yeah. yeah it is.
2:09 PM i feel like i'm going to throw up
fuck
i hate this shit
when is it that i won't care anymore? cause that needs to happen real soon.
2:10 PM Michael: yeah it sucks
Paul: so i tried to be as un-mean and impersonal as i could
2:12 PM Michael: you did a fine job of it
2:13 PM do you have any idea about how she's been doing?
2:14 PM Paul: i think she's alright, but no, i have no idea. i assume if she weren't doing hot, she'd be like "hey paul, i fucked up." or something. or she'd at least realize she did. but the way i figure it she's doing the classic thing that happens when you dump someone, which is distracting yourself with booze and ass and thinking that you feel great, only to realize in a few months that you fucked up.
2:15 PM where as when you get dumped, you know you feel like shit and distract yourself with booze and ass until, months later, you realize you feel better.
2:16 PM Michael: that should be on someone's tombstone
gerald ford's perhaps
2:18 PM Paul: yes, it will be written on parchment and sent back to egypt land
2:21 PM Michael: i agree with your views and wish to subscribe to your newsletter
2:22 PM Paul: krabapple? i've been calling her krandle! oh, i look like an idiot!
Michael: hahahaha
2:24 PM i wish i could think of a good simpson's quote but i cant
i keep going between this conversation and the report i'm writing
2:25 PM check the headline of this Boston Globe article:
http://www.boston.com/sports/articles/2007/02/22/a_beaming_harvard_embraces_the_cannons/
2:26 PM A Beaming Something Has Never Embraced the Dubitzkys
Paul: well, the cannons are a proud and industrious folk
2:28 PM Michael: today the Cannons uniquely mix their rich traditions with modern sensibilities to form a vibrant cultural tapestry
2:29 PM that's what travel shows say about any place they visit
2:30 PM Paul: we draft the young from the richest countries to be the ballerinas of the culture wars
2:31 PM Michael: haha
what a delightful metaphor. I can relate to it because i know the role of ballerinas in war
2:32 PM Paul: they are the most beautiful and deadly of the dancing regiments
2:33 PM Michael: like a golden retriever with a gun its mouth
2:34 PM Paul: ah, the canine brigades. the mini-doberman, and his oversized knife on his back
Michael: the dachshund, with its sack full of dog shit
2:35 PM Paul: the pug, with it's non-stop top-40 ipod speakers
Michael: the irish setter with its carrot top jokes
Paul: i don't know that i can ever be funnier than you just were
Michael: please, you flatter me
2:37 PM Paul: you and your brain and its jokes
2:39 PM Michael: you're twice as funny as i, and six times as charming
2:40 PM Paul: you're a flatterer who knows how to get what he wants.
10 minutes
2:50 PM Michael: sorry just stepped out for a minute
i really have to get back to work
we'll pick this up again soon, though
later

LATER THAT SAME DAY

5:29 PM Paul: blaaaaaaaaaaah
5:30 PM Michael: oh you are true
sorry to leave so abruptly before
Paul: you're an asshole. you rich asshole.
5:31 PM Michael: the senior partner apparently blew up at some paralegal upstairs and i had to be sure that if he came down i was working as hard as possible
also, i'm an asshole
not rich, but an asshole
5:32 PM Paul: i knew you'd say that
5:33 PM Michael: one day i hope to be the world's richest asshole
5:35 PM for now i have to settle for world's humblest man
5:36 PM Paul: computers! alive!
Michael: amazing!
5:37 PM modern science fiction!
5:38 PM paul, i didn't want to be the one to tell you this
but you're a nerd, you use computers
5:40 PM Paul: oh shit. and i have glasses. i'm as good as virgin
revirginizing
5:41 PM Michael: and a pocket protector, now you're uncircumcised
5:42 PM Paul: oh no!

Tuesday - 2/20/07

11:44 AM Michael: how was your weekend?
12:05 PM Paul: it was pretty killer. how was yours?
12:06 PM Michael: it was alright
12:07 PM not terribly eventful but i did have some good times
how's mac?
Paul: pretty good. didn't see too much of him, as he'd rather play video games than go get drunk at a bar. to each his own.
12:11 PM you should come up and get drunk with me at a bar
12:15 PM Michael: that sounds exactly like what i should do
Paul: i know
Michael: so i will
12:16 PM Paul: excellent
12:17 PM Michael: i'm sure i'll be in nyc before april
Paul: indeed
Michael: i just need to figure out a good weekend
Paul: perhaps i'll figure out how to motivate myself onto a bus to d.c. - any birthday plans?
12:18 PM Michael: i haven't thought much about it
i could make birthday plans
Paul: you could. it is less than a month away
12:19 PM Michael: i'll give it some thought
ah
here's a plan
you come to DC
the end
Paul: wow. you think fast.
12:20 PM Michael: well thanks, i take steroids
Paul: you're also high
12:21 PM Michael: if by "high" you mean high on drugs, then yes
Paul: yes, i mean high on cocaine. the drug.
Michael: cocaine is a winners' drug
12:24 PM i'm on the fast track to cooltown and you'll just have to wait at the train station with your mouth agape as my crack train blows by you in a gust of wind and money
Paul: i think that might be the most amazing thing you've ever said
Michael: thanks
12:26 PM i only say facts i know
12:27 PM Paul: you say true truths, soothsayer. may your mighty brain be not hollowed out by the cocaine moles digging through it. for all time.
12:29 PM Michael: ah blind poet, your stirring meters have touched the void in my consciousness and breath'd to it righteousness of which i dare not speak. your station being so humble, must inveigh against the less noble men who, in mortal despair, do perfidy towards grace with a thin white line
12:33 PM
Paul: lines that long for nostral passages ne'er before traversed are mere brothers of the deep brews that dredge the depths of ones internals, eternally siphoning the tempered blood. AVAST! Forthwith shalt the hops and barley be mine sea, depression the vessel of shattered dreams! (it's not fair, you majored in classics)
12:36 PM and how did we go from "fast track to cool town" to fucking crazy ass poet speak?
Michael: excellent question
we're great
Paul: excellent answer
Michael: and your poetic reply was superb
12:38 PM Paul: it's still not fair. you and your background of epic poetry puts my mind to shame
Michael: that's true, i have substantial experience there, BUT your philosophy background can make it up and then some
Paul: mayhaps
12:39 PM Michael: no one can waste words on meaningless doublespeak better than a philosopher
Paul: well, maybe a politician
of which i also have experience
Michael: good point
12:40 PM you have received votes for the presidency
or at least vote for the presidency
12:42 PM Paul: did you vote for me? i know you voted for me to be the attorney general of massachusetts
Michael: that was in 2002, in 2004 you were my write in vote for president
12:43 PM you narrowly edged out dwight eisenhower
12:44 PM Paul: that's right. well, we might like ike, but paul cannon's the shit
that's my campaign slogan
"paul cannon's the shit, son"
12:45 PM Michael: i'll quickly run out and make a hundred thousand bumper stickers that say "Paul Cannon's shit, son"
12:46 PM Paul: hahahaha
and then i will run you over with one of the many cars you stick them on
12:47 PM Michael: that seems like a fair solution
Paul: it's agreed then
hey
12:48 PM whatever happened to duels? like, andrew jackson shooting somebody on the white house lawn?
Michael: that's a great question
12:49 PM men were men back then
that's a good campaign slogan too
"Paul Cannon: Men Were Men Back Then"
12:50 PM Paul: Cannon/Dubitzky: We're gonna kick your ass, bitch.
Michael: Cannon/Dubitzky: The Future Stops Here
12:51 PM Paul: Cannon/Dubitzky: Please shut up.
Michael: Cannon/Dubitzky: Read my lips, kiss me
Paul: Cannon/Dubitzky: Give Us Your Money, Keep Your Children
12:52 PM Michael: Cannon/Dubitzky: A Duo of Two
12:53 PM Paul: Cannon/Dubitzky: Vegetarian and the Jew: Red States Suck
12:54 PM Michael: Cannon/Dubitzky: Absolution of your sins with every vote
12:55 PM Paul: Cannon/Dubitzky: We're Hungry
Michael: Cannon/Dubitzky: We'll Tell You How to Cure Cancer
ok, i'm on board
but i have to go
Paul: adios
Michael: a pleasure, as always

Friday - 2/16/07

11:07 AM Paul: don't waste another minute on your cryin'!
21 minutes
11:28 AM Michael: haha, i can always count on you
impressive
11:29 AM those growing pains
Paul: as long as we've got each other....!
Michael: we've got the world spinning right in our hands!
11:30 AM Paul: hahahaha
we're fun
Michael: supremely so
11:31 AM Paul: any idea if you'll be making it up to the old nyc for some good old fashioned good fashioned times
?
Michael: i want but i'm not sure if i want to spend the money
Paul: truly
Michael: tell me, who else will be there this weekend?
11:32 AM Paul: mac, a couple friends from boston...me.
11:33 AM Michael: it's very tempting
Paul: ha
11:34 AM Michael: maybe i would come up sat. night through monday
i dont know
Paul: yeah, that's macs plan
Michael: i'll give you a definite answer some time today
Paul: whatevs
11:35 AM Michael: if i dont come up this weekend, i'll come up sometime in march
11:36 AM Paul: cool. and i'll def. def. def. come to d.c. come spring time
Michael: haha
sure you will
i'll leave a light on for you
Paul: promises promises
Michael: good man
11:37 AM spring in dc is the best time to come anyway
it's actually been surprisingly cold here this month
Paul: yeah, i hear spring is beautiful
11:38 AM Michael: oh it is, what with the trees and all
11:40 AM Paul: and the leaves
Michael: yes, they're ok too
see what happens when we're both unoccupied at work?
do you see?
can't you?
do you?
11:42 AM Paul: can i afford not to?
Michael: how true that is
11:44 AM Paul: And also in a twist that really shakes the bacon
Michael: how’s work going for you?
Paul: it's alright. a long week of long hours.
12:01 PM Michael: busy, eh?
Paul: very. not right now. but yesterday
12:02 PM Michael: you never ended up meeting walken, did you?
Paul: nope. sadly.
12:03 PM Michael: that's a shame, i have some shit to do
we'll pick this up later
adios
12:04 PM Paul: peace

Thursday - 2/15/07 REDUX

1:52 PM Michael: new post
Paul: sweeet. i need it
this day
1:53 PM is the longest day
and yesterday was also soooo long
Michael: how true that is
Paul: can we call this
Michael: how true we all are
Paul: "week that sucks II"
Michael: yes we can
done and done
1:54 PM Paul: by the way, when is it that i'm supposed to stop feeling really shitty about being dumped? cause that ain't happened yet.
Michael: i think that correlation is roughly one week for every month you went out
1:55 PM Paul: i thought it was supposed to be half the time you dated.
so in your theory
Michael: it's one quarter
Paul: it would be 26.5 weeks
i'm on week 5
Michael: 6 and a half months
Paul: this sucks
Michael: ouch
it does
1:58 PM when do you think you would decide to try to date again?
1:59 PM Paul: never. i mean, i'll sleep with somebody.
2:01 PM Michael: yeah, it's going to be a long time before you'd be willing to put yourself in a position of vulnerability
2:02 PM Paul: ahhh, this sucks. i've already drunk myself into a stupor for a solid month, so i need to take a breather.
Michael: true
check the post
that will briefly lift your spirits
2:07 PM Paul: brilliant
Michael: yup
Paul: i would see that movie
straight to dvd
Michael: right, but who would see a movie just called ATM? that's so boring
2:08 PM Paul: so boring
2:09 PM Michael: and the scientist's inventions all revolve around adding guns and knives to an existing product

Thursday - 2/15/07

11:20 AM Paul: anyway you want it that's the way you need it!
Michael: She loves to laugh
Paul: she loves to sing
Michael: SHE LOVES ELEVEN THINGS!
She loves to move
Paul: she loves to groove
Michael: SHE LOVES ELEVEN THINGS
Paul: oh, all night!
11:21 AM Michael: ps i know that's not how it goes but hot damn it should
Paul: i know
i know
Michael: all night
Paul: so good
Michael: indeed
11:22 AM so i'll give you a final decision about this weekend tomorrow
Paul: word up
11:23 AM Michael: but as always, i appreciate your most gracious hospitality
11:25 AM how are things going with your own private film making?
Paul: i'm going to try to build a dolly/jib arm rig this weekend. i've got this idea for a short, but i need to have this rig to make it happen. it'll probably take a few tries to get it right.
11:26 AM Michael: cool, what happens in the short that requires the rig?
11:29 AM Paul: well, it's this idea i have where there are three frames on screen at once, and the film takes place simultaneously on all three frames, just from different angles/P.O.V.s. and the shots will all be kind of fluid. i want to actually make 3 films like this, all like five minutes long. the first one is going to kind of just be straight forward narrative, the second i hope will be more....i guess avante garde would be the word, more like mixing film and ballet or something. i don't know if i'll ever actually pull any of it off, but i want to try.
11:30 AM Michael: that's an interesting idea
11:31 AM Paul: it's a bit gimmicky, i know
Michael: you know what narratives you want to use already?
Paul: i've got an idea for the first one, but it's vague. more like there are certain shots i want to use and so i need to write the story around that
Michael: it's only gimmicky if it's just there for the sake of being there, if you make good use of the 3 screens as far as adding to the execution of the story is concerned, then it's terrific
11:32 AM Paul: i hope i can do just that
11:33 AM Michael: for example, if one of your characters has epilepsy just so she can sound more well-rounded, even though it's a shallow attempt to cull pity from the audience for a trait that has nothing whatsoever to do with the rest of the film and is just left there to dangle like a piece of meat in front of emo kids wanting to feel like they're watching their lives on screen, THEN it would be gimmicky
11:35 AM Paul: mmm, well let's hope no one ever makes a film like that
...
11:36 AM Michael: who would, paul? who would?
Paul: someone...who is the voice of our generation?
Michael: only he
but seriously paul, i like the idea
11:38 AM it sounds like it would take awhile to edit though
11:40 AM Paul: yeah, it would take a while to shoot, too. i'll probably have to plan out precise movements and timing
11:41 AM Michael: do you have 3 cameras?
11:42 AM Paul: no, but the way i see the film, the frames will move and stop at the same time. at least mostly.
11:43 AM Michael: i see, i get what you mean by precise movement and timing then
11:44 AM Paul: yeah
and spacing of the frames
sometimes all three frames next to each other will form one anamorphic wide screen shot.
11:45 AM Michael: that's awesome
Paul: it could be
Michael: like one of those multi-picture panoramas, right?
Paul: more or less, yeah
11:46 AM Michael: fancy dancing
Paul: we'll see. i hope to shoot the first one in june or july, but there are bound to be complications
Michael: naturally
there always are
i dont think i've seen any films you've made since college
Paul: i've only made little skits and crap
11:47 AM Michael: ok, cuz you've made some great stuff
what was the movie with the dumpster baby?
11:48 AM i cant remember it exactly there was something hilarious
and i think there was a robot
and andrew
11:49 AM this may have been a dream i had
11:50 AM either way, it was funny
and i thought your zombie movie from senior year was a lot better than you gave it credit for
Paul: the dumpster movie was about babies coming from dumpsters
11:51 AM and the robot movie was called "robot fantastic" and two robots face off in a dance fight on the banks of the river charles
Michael: hahahahaha
Paul: i actually was sitting in a bar/cafe the other night
and this kid comes up to me who i kind of recognize
and he goes
11:52 AM "did you go to BU?"
and i'm like "yeah"
"were you in COM?"
"yeah"
"you made that film with those robots, right? I remember seeing that. it was pretty cool."
that's my first fan, mike
11:53 AM Michael: dude, you're famous
look at you
Paul: so famous
11:54 AM Michael: you should have said "Can't you people leave me alone?! I'm just trying to have dinner with my family! Is there no respect for privacy anymore?"
Paul: hahahahah
i will never do that. mostly because i will never be recognized again.
Michael: that's a good reason
11:55 AM yes well, i'll own robot fantastic and alaric and all the rest one day on Paul Cannon: The Early Collection DVD set, but of course by then it wont be dvd's we use but a chip that's driven into your brain
11:56 AM Paul: of course. and when that day comes, i'll buy you something nice.
11:57 AM Michael: a clock radio?
12:09 PM Paul: also genius
alright, now i have real work to do
i'll catch ya
12:10 PM Michael: me too, me too
cheers

Tuesday - 2/13/07

4:59 PM Michael: please entertain me
Paul: i just farted
Michael: that's HILARIOUS
Paul: yes
it's my new brand of comedy
i call it
socialism
Michael: i think it'll catch on
5:00 PM ok i have a film snob gripe that i can register to you, who knows so much more about movies than i do
Paul: ha
ok
5:01 PM Michael: the other day i was at dinner with some people and we were talking about movies and this girl goes "yeah i really follow movies. i'm a real film buff"
so i mentioned something about seeing The Apartment recently and she'd never heard of it
so then i say, oh it's a Billy Wilder movie and she had never heard of him
5:02 PM Paul: what?
WHAT?
Michael: and i'm just thinking to myself - angrily and loudly, i might add (yes i thought it loudly) - how ridiculous this person is
yes WHAT indeed
5:03 PM Paul: i mean, i don't think i've ever seen it either, but to not know who billy wilder is is to say "i don't know shit about film except what was made after mighty ducks 1"
Michael: hahaha
yeah, the apartment wasn't the issue
it's the claiming to be a film buff and not knowing billy wilder
5:04 PM if it's any help, she also had never heard of sunset boulevard when i tried to give context to the name billy wilder
Paul: oh come on
Michael: AND when i mentioned pan's labyrinth and said it was a guillermo del toro film, her response was "i loved him in traffic"
Paul: hahahahahahahahahahaha
that's amazing
Michael: no joke
Paul: did you just laugh?
5:05 PM Michael: yes, and i'm glad i can tell that to you, who fully appreciates it
and why it pissed me off
Paul: that's unbelievable
a film buff
ha
Michael: pathetic
5:06 PM that's like if i said i was a political science expert but had never heard of the constitution
Paul: hahaha
Michael: Madison? no that name doesn't ring a bell
Paul: it's like if you said you're really knowledgeable of egyptian history and hadn't heard of cleopatra
5:07 PM "Sphynx"? is that some sort of newfangled energy elixir?
Michael: EXACTLY
oh and also bad was that i told this story to another group of friends and they also didn't know who billy wilder was
5:08 PM Paul: well, it's ok not to know who he is, but not when you say you're a film buff
Michael: i agree
5:09 PM it's still frustrating that no one our age who isn't obsessed with old movies knows who the director of double indemnity, stalag 17, sunset blvd., the apartment, some like hot and sabrina is
Paul: true
Michael: btw, if you haven't seen Double Indemnity, do so
5:10 PM i saw it about 5 weeks ago for the first time
Paul: i have been meaning to for the longest time
hey, why don't you come to ny and get hammered this weekend?
Michael: maybe i will
it's really tempting
5:11 PM i'll seriously consider it
Paul: we've got a lot of people coming to visit, so we'll add on one more
Michael: i'll let you know
thanks
Paul: word
it'd be sweet
Michael: did you get to meet del toro when you worked on Pan's?
5:12 PM Paul: no
course not
though i might meet christopher walken tomorrow
that could be cool
5:13 PM Michael: dude
that would be
Paul: we'll see
Michael: cool
Paul: i might not be around when he is
Michael: to the utmost
you will be
you MUST be
Paul: ok, check this out
Michael: is he doing voice over?
ok
Paul: i just got an e-mail from amazon.com
5:14 PM and it says that the following book is available, and people who have expressed interest in it have also ordered some kant book i once bought or something
"Gotthold Ephraim Lessings Stliche Schriften: Teil 8. Gesammelte Vorreden. Beitr zur Kenntniss der deutschen Sprache. Vom Alter der malerei aus dem Theophilus Presbyter "
what the fuck would i want that for?
5:15 PM Michael: hahaha
christopher walken would understand
5:17 PM my boss is taking a nap behind me
Paul: truly
5:18 PM Michael: i have no work to do bc i need my shit to be edited by the someone else
but i think he doesnt know that
so type-type-typing makes it sound like i'm still doing stuff
5:19 PM Paul: yes, that is the way to go
type away
tell me a tell tale
Michael: ok
5:20 PM once upon a time there was a man named chris walken
and he went to visit his friend the Paul of Cannon
and when he did Paul had a ridiculous photo taken of them
to preserve the hilarity for posterity
the end
what did you think?
5:21 PM it probably could use a love scene
5:23 PM Paul: ha, i wish i could take a photo
5:24 PM but since we're in the biz we have to act all pro and like fame ain't no biggee
Michael: that's true
but it's not tom cruise or some idiotic star like that, it's christopher walken
5:25 PM maybe you can snap something with your camera phone
5:26 PM Paul: that would be sly
5:28 PM i'd then immediately send it to you
5:29 PM Michael: oh man, work dismissed
it's icing outside here
so we're out
5:30 PM Paul: adios son
enjoy the free freedom
Michael: i appreciate the distraction, thanks
Paul: anytime
Michael: have a drink on me
Paul: always
Michael: just go to a bar in new york and charge it to mike
Paul: it rarely works
Michael: they'll know what to do
Paul: unless there's another mike in the bar
5:31 PM Michael: there's seldom another mike in the bar
Paul: ha
an uncommon name
later, kid
Michael: my mother invented it on my birth bed
Paul: hahaha
Michael: bye pops

Thursday - 2/8/07

1:53 PM Michael: fuck, i had more to tell you and then you left and now i cant remember what it was