10:33 AM Michael: howdy fool
10:34 AM that's how Mr. T would greet you if he lived in the Old West
10:36 AM Paul: is it? or would he say "you dead, sucka"?
10:37 AM Michael: that comes immediately after "howdy fool"
Paul: i'm gonna git you, sucka
which, oddly, did not star mr. t
Michael: that IS oddly
10:38 AM did you peruse the WhiskyFest page yet?
10:40 AM Paul: oh yes. maggie and i are totally down for going. you need to come too. that's the consensus.
10:41 AM Michael: hmmm
10:42 AM maybe i can take off a couple of days
i really would like to go
hmmm
Paul: hmmm indeed
Michael: well, i'll give it some thought
but you and maggie are def. in?
10:43 AM Paul: oh yes, oh yes
Michael: terrific
10:44 AM if only it was on the weekend instead, sigh
10:45 AM the problem is i'm taking off four days the week before thanksgiving
so i dont know
yo skeptico
and naturally, I'd have to take off the post-whiskyfest day
Paul: i skeptico. yes....well, it IS whiskey
of course
10:46 AM Michael: you make a convincing argument
10:47 AM Paul: i know. i was in debate club.
Michael: tell me more about your beliefs
you just debated me into oblivion
Paul: well, would you like to subscribe to my newsletter?
10:48 AM Michael: i would be interested in it
10:49 AM Paul: well, i don't have one. so there
Michael: fuck you
Paul: oh, mike. we need to live in the same city.
Michael: i agree to the utmost
let's make that happen sooner rather than later
10:50 AM Paul: agreed
Michael: two options: 1) if I do go to law school, then perhaps it will be in NYC or 2) we should both move to the west coast at the same stime
10:51 AM OR we build a new city called Paultopia on a carribean island
10:52 AM it will be an island paraMike
Paul: paulopolis, the city of the future
i like options 1 and 2, but i really dig option 3
if you go to law school, it better the damn be in nyc
Michael: yes, option 3 has attracted my fancy
Paul: cause i'm here for like another 3 or 4 years
Michael: if i go to law school it would probably not be until fall 2008
10:53 AM Paul: hoooom
Michael: and it probably will be in some city in the northeast
Paul: hooooooooooooooooom
Michael: HOOOOOOOM
how's alex doing?
10:54 AM Paul: he's got some sort of illness right now
feverish
Michael: oh man, rough
10:55 AM order him to get better
Paul: i did
we'll see what happens
Michael: and he disobeyed you???
oh ok
Paul: so far
Michael: you two still share a room?
Paul: no
i've got connor's old room
Michael: nice
no sickness for you then
and connor moved out?
10:56 AM Paul: yup. he moved in with jon a couple stops away
10:57 AM Michael: cool, i know i've asked you this shit before, but since i havent yet been in your apt - flat as only I say - since the moving whatnot, i can't remember who moved into what
Paul: yes yes. it's ok. you're mind is leaving you, as it should have years ago
10:59 AM Michael: yes, i am growing forgetful in golden years
Paul: and you're growing golden
Michael: for example, yesterday i was talking to menachem and he mentioned the holy grail, and i totally couldnt remember where it was
11:00 AM Paul: it's by the canyon of the crescent moon. hello?!
Michael: that's what i thought. turns out it's in the MGM Grand in Vegas
Paul: oooooo
alright, work calls
11:01 AM Michael: same
Paul: we'll meet again
Michael: thanks for the brief entertainment
Paul: always
Michael: adios fool, as Mr. T would say in Old West mexico
Paul: sasparilla, sucka!
Monday, June 23, 2008
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Tuesday - 10/10/06
12:07 PM Michael: hey
Paul: "hey" - that's SO you
Michael: i know, I invented "hey"
12:08 PM if i may have moment of your time, sir, i'd like to discuss WhiskyFest
12:09 PM Paul: please, whiskeytize me
12:10 PM Michael: so, here is the deal - and i will look at the precise details and email them to you when i do
i think it's November 6th
which i believe is a tuesday
i'm going to be up the preceeding weekend
but
i dont think i can be there for the event
12:11 PM Paul: NO!
why would whiskeyfest happen on a tuesday?
whiskeyfest should be a friday through to saturday whiskeynight
12:12 PM Michael: I know! I agree! now, normally i'd like to do this as a surprise, obviously, but tickets aren't cheap, so i need to know prior to it whether or not you and maggie could go, but i would like to treat you both, if you can attend, as a anniversary/maggie's birthday present
Paul: oh my god
12:13 PM Michael: basically it features hundreds of different whiskies, taste testing, various classes, etc
Paul: why would you buy me anything? i mean, i love you. and i love whiskey. but you're way too good to me.
Michael: you can taste thousand dollar vintages!
Paul: oh my god
Michael: trust me, i'd love to be there myself
Paul: my brain just attacked my heart and told it that it's dead. because my brain is going to drink so much whiskey
Michael:
12:14 PM and if I find out i can come, then i will
so i'll send you the info and let me know if you and maggie could go
Paul: i'll check with maggie after i get the deets from you. I'm totally up for it. But I feel bad that you're going to buy tickets and NOT go.
Michael: so it goes. i'll vicariously drink whisky through you
Paul: you are the dream friend i've always dreamed about
12:15 PM Michael: i'll email you the info now, get back to me when you can
i'm still coming up that weekend, of course
so you will buy me a drink
12:16 PM Paul: "a" drink?
12:17 PM Michael: many "a" drinks
Paul: more like i'll get you more sauced than a tomato that's been made into sauce
Michael: email sent
Paul: gracias
Michael: hell yeah you will
and then i'll pass out in the hot sun
Paul: hell yeah i'm gonna!
we're gonna get tore up
12:18 PM Michael: oh the drunken hilarity will flow like discombobulated sober hilarity
Paul: it's a shame you won't be here this saturday. the party looks to be kickin
$100 of booze. a dj. friends.
12:19 PM Michael: sounds great, i don't think i can make it, but there actually is a remote possibility of a last minute change of plans
trust me, i want to be there
i have shit to do this weekend though, including working on sunday
12:20 PM Paul: bah. work is for suckers. even though i am one of those suckers.
Michael: yeah
well, without it, i'd have no money to sponsor you in WHISKYFEST
12:21 PM Paul: hahaha
Michael: so it has at least one upside
Paul: i'm gonna have to make a shirt/have maggie make a shirt for "Team Mike"
Michael: that would be awesome
i'll need one, like the 6th grader from south park who always wears a shirt with his face on it
Paul: a full jump suit would be ideal, actually
12:22 PM Michael: and yellow, like april o'neill
Paul: for maggie
mine would have a giant dragon on it and the word "maverick"
Michael: mine will have the words "contientious obejector, smash the establishment" on the front and a starbucks logo on the back
Paul: man, he went into a DUNKIN DONUTS
hilarious
12:24 PM Michael: i would actually really like a shirt like that
Paul: "smash the establishment...with this refreshing coffee coolata"
Michael:
the perfect summer pick-me-up
Paul: america runs on dunkin
well, i'll see about making a shirt like that and getting it your way
12:25 PM i know people. they do fashion stuff.
Michael: thanks buddy, Team Mike would also be mostly excellent
yes i know
do dan and pete still do that stuff?
Paul: yeah. it's going well, too. just completed an order of 1000 shirts for a record company/store. something like that.
12:26 PM Michael: that's awesome
well done boys
12:27 PM did i tell you that josh and i will be starting to brew and sell our own beer soon?
we just completed our first original recipe beer
Paul: how'd you do that?
12:28 PM Michael: it was very, very good (if i do say so myself), now we're brewing a couple more batches and there's a lot of paperwork and planning to do, but hope to have it going within about a year
we each had learned enough from brewing beer following recipes that we invented our own
it's called ZWB
12:29 PM for the german word Zimtweisbier, which mean cinnamon wheat beer
because it's a cinnamon wheat beer
you see
Paul: oh man
that sounds delicious
i want all of it
i'll put in a preorder
Michael: it was really good
Paul: for like, a case and a keg and another case
12:30 PM Michael: we brewed a second batch a couple weeks ago at josh's place when i was in boston, and next week i'm doing another batch here in dc
Paul: are you going to declare yourselves a business and shit?
Michael: since there's lincensing needed just to sell beer, we have to get that first
then we will become a company
Paul: are you still using the brewing kits for your barley and carbonization?
12:32 PM Michael: yep. we have looked into bigger equipment, for $700 we can buy a 100 gallon fermenter (by contrast we can only brew 5 gallons at a time now), with these batches we're probably going to take it to beer bars for opinions and advice
so we're both saving up to have a few thousand for next year
12:33 PM Paul: this is momentous. monumental. congratualtions/thank you for blessing the world with your talents
12:34 PM Michael: thanks, i hope things work out
Paul: that's amazing
12:35 PM Michael: josh has a business background, so he's in charge of getting a business model together in the next few weeks
Paul: I'm somehow jealous, but more excited than anything
Michael: i'm going to fill out the licensing forms
you're more than welcome to help brew and share profits if you wish
Paul: i heart beer?
Michael: we could have maggie design the label
Paul: i'll run it by her. i'm sure she'd be more than happy to get in contact with you guys about it
Michael: although big m may want to compete
12:36 PM Paul: indeed
and of course, i offer my services in whatever way they are needed.
Michael: well, there's no rush, we're looking at at least a year before we start actual production for commercial purposes
thanks, and some day - and that day may never come - i will call on you for those services
12:37 PM Paul: hahaha
Michael: oh, my ZWB should be ready by the time i'm in nyc in november, i'll bring a few bottles
12:38 PM Paul: i'll shoot all of your commercials. they will be manic, drunken, and outrageous. and all those who view them will suddenly have an unexplainable craving for zwb. please do bring a bottle or two. i'm really curious. it sounds delicious.
12:39 PM Michael: the first batch was, so hopefully will the second batch. yes you will shoot our ads, but we won't have enough money to put them on tv
12:40 PM Paul: we'll just play them from projectors placed outside of all the bars in the city. guerilla marketing.
12:42 PM Michael: brilliant!
and on youtube
bless the internet, everyone
Paul: well
apparenlty
anything you put up on youtube is subsequently owned by youtube
12:43 PM Michael: hmmm
and now google
which bought youtube yesterday for $1.65 billion
Paul: i heard. bastards.
oh
12:44 PM go on youtube and check out "fat kid ride" and "japanese game show nuts" for searches
both are hysterical
Michael: i can't now, but i'll try to remember later
Paul: indeed
work and whatnot
Michael: i've seen the japanese nuts game show actually, that IS hilarious
12:45 PM andrew sullivan linked it a week or two ago
the fat kids one i'll have to check out
yes, work
Paul: ah, andrew sullivan. i'm interested in his book that came out today
12:46 PM Michael: oh yeah
what's his topic?
12:48 PM Paul: something about saving conservatism from fundamentalists and extremists. the roots of reason and religion in conservatism along with the basic tenets of small gov't and fiscal responsibility. i think. seems like an interesting and at the very least intelligent read
12:49 PM Michael: oooh, interesting, i'm sure it'll be an intelligent read
and yeah, conservatism is heading in a terrifyingly awful direction
12:50 PM Paul: yeah. moderate republicans and moderate democrats should form a new party.
they at least allow for disagreement and rational debate. a party that allowed that within its own structure would be a welcome change
12:51 PM Michael: i have been thinking the same thing
12:52 PM it's almost impossible to form a centrist party though
oh well
Paul: yeah, but it COULD happen. it's about time too.
Michael: agreed
let's be engines for political change!
Paul: i mean we used to have progressives and federalists and whigs. why not make a new party again?
Michael: nah, that sounds hard, let's drink beer and vomit on our shoes!
Paul: YES
12:53 PM Michael: YES
another compromise
Paul: that'll be our foundation for political activism. drinking
Michael: it'll be the opposite of the temperance movement
12:54 PM Paul: the inebrationists
Michael:
nicely done
Paul: "abolitionists?" no no, my good man. here, have a drink
Michael: i have to get back to work
Paul: keep on keeping on
12:55 PM Michael: look over the whiskyfest stuff and get back me when you can
you too pops
you too
Paul: i will. a pleasure as always
Michael: as always
cheers
Paul: "hey" - that's SO you
Michael: i know, I invented "hey"
12:08 PM if i may have moment of your time, sir, i'd like to discuss WhiskyFest
12:09 PM Paul: please, whiskeytize me
12:10 PM Michael: so, here is the deal - and i will look at the precise details and email them to you when i do
i think it's November 6th
which i believe is a tuesday
i'm going to be up the preceeding weekend
but
i dont think i can be there for the event
12:11 PM Paul: NO!
why would whiskeyfest happen on a tuesday?
whiskeyfest should be a friday through to saturday whiskeynight
12:12 PM Michael: I know! I agree! now, normally i'd like to do this as a surprise, obviously, but tickets aren't cheap, so i need to know prior to it whether or not you and maggie could go, but i would like to treat you both, if you can attend, as a anniversary/maggie's birthday present
Paul: oh my god
12:13 PM Michael: basically it features hundreds of different whiskies, taste testing, various classes, etc
Paul: why would you buy me anything? i mean, i love you. and i love whiskey. but you're way too good to me.
Michael: you can taste thousand dollar vintages!
Paul: oh my god
Michael: trust me, i'd love to be there myself
Paul: my brain just attacked my heart and told it that it's dead. because my brain is going to drink so much whiskey
Michael:
12:14 PM and if I find out i can come, then i will
so i'll send you the info and let me know if you and maggie could go
Paul: i'll check with maggie after i get the deets from you. I'm totally up for it. But I feel bad that you're going to buy tickets and NOT go.
Michael: so it goes. i'll vicariously drink whisky through you
Paul: you are the dream friend i've always dreamed about
12:15 PM Michael: i'll email you the info now, get back to me when you can
i'm still coming up that weekend, of course
so you will buy me a drink
12:16 PM Paul: "a" drink?
12:17 PM Michael: many "a" drinks
Paul: more like i'll get you more sauced than a tomato that's been made into sauce
Michael: email sent
Paul: gracias
Michael: hell yeah you will
and then i'll pass out in the hot sun
Paul: hell yeah i'm gonna!
we're gonna get tore up
12:18 PM Michael: oh the drunken hilarity will flow like discombobulated sober hilarity
Paul: it's a shame you won't be here this saturday. the party looks to be kickin
$100 of booze. a dj. friends.
12:19 PM Michael: sounds great, i don't think i can make it, but there actually is a remote possibility of a last minute change of plans
trust me, i want to be there
i have shit to do this weekend though, including working on sunday
12:20 PM Paul: bah. work is for suckers. even though i am one of those suckers.
Michael: yeah
well, without it, i'd have no money to sponsor you in WHISKYFEST
12:21 PM Paul: hahaha
Michael: so it has at least one upside
Paul: i'm gonna have to make a shirt/have maggie make a shirt for "Team Mike"
Michael: that would be awesome
i'll need one, like the 6th grader from south park who always wears a shirt with his face on it
Paul: a full jump suit would be ideal, actually
12:22 PM Michael: and yellow, like april o'neill
Paul: for maggie
mine would have a giant dragon on it and the word "maverick"
Michael: mine will have the words "contientious obejector, smash the establishment" on the front and a starbucks logo on the back
Paul: man, he went into a DUNKIN DONUTS
hilarious
12:24 PM Michael: i would actually really like a shirt like that
Paul: "smash the establishment...with this refreshing coffee coolata"
Michael:
the perfect summer pick-me-up
Paul: america runs on dunkin
well, i'll see about making a shirt like that and getting it your way
12:25 PM i know people. they do fashion stuff.
Michael: thanks buddy, Team Mike would also be mostly excellent
yes i know
do dan and pete still do that stuff?
Paul: yeah. it's going well, too. just completed an order of 1000 shirts for a record company/store. something like that.
12:26 PM Michael: that's awesome
well done boys
12:27 PM did i tell you that josh and i will be starting to brew and sell our own beer soon?
we just completed our first original recipe beer
Paul: how'd you do that?
12:28 PM Michael: it was very, very good (if i do say so myself), now we're brewing a couple more batches and there's a lot of paperwork and planning to do, but hope to have it going within about a year
we each had learned enough from brewing beer following recipes that we invented our own
it's called ZWB
12:29 PM for the german word Zimtweisbier, which mean cinnamon wheat beer
because it's a cinnamon wheat beer
you see
Paul: oh man
that sounds delicious
i want all of it
i'll put in a preorder
Michael: it was really good
Paul: for like, a case and a keg and another case
12:30 PM Michael: we brewed a second batch a couple weeks ago at josh's place when i was in boston, and next week i'm doing another batch here in dc
Paul: are you going to declare yourselves a business and shit?
Michael: since there's lincensing needed just to sell beer, we have to get that first
then we will become a company
Paul: are you still using the brewing kits for your barley and carbonization?
12:32 PM Michael: yep. we have looked into bigger equipment, for $700 we can buy a 100 gallon fermenter (by contrast we can only brew 5 gallons at a time now), with these batches we're probably going to take it to beer bars for opinions and advice
so we're both saving up to have a few thousand for next year
12:33 PM Paul: this is momentous. monumental. congratualtions/thank you for blessing the world with your talents
12:34 PM Michael: thanks, i hope things work out
Paul: that's amazing
12:35 PM Michael: josh has a business background, so he's in charge of getting a business model together in the next few weeks
Paul: I'm somehow jealous, but more excited than anything
Michael: i'm going to fill out the licensing forms
you're more than welcome to help brew and share profits if you wish
Paul: i heart beer?
Michael: we could have maggie design the label
Paul: i'll run it by her. i'm sure she'd be more than happy to get in contact with you guys about it
Michael: although big m may want to compete
12:36 PM Paul: indeed
and of course, i offer my services in whatever way they are needed.
Michael: well, there's no rush, we're looking at at least a year before we start actual production for commercial purposes
thanks, and some day - and that day may never come - i will call on you for those services
12:37 PM Paul: hahaha
Michael: oh, my ZWB should be ready by the time i'm in nyc in november, i'll bring a few bottles
12:38 PM Paul: i'll shoot all of your commercials. they will be manic, drunken, and outrageous. and all those who view them will suddenly have an unexplainable craving for zwb. please do bring a bottle or two. i'm really curious. it sounds delicious.
12:39 PM Michael: the first batch was, so hopefully will the second batch. yes you will shoot our ads, but we won't have enough money to put them on tv
12:40 PM Paul: we'll just play them from projectors placed outside of all the bars in the city. guerilla marketing.
12:42 PM Michael: brilliant!
and on youtube
bless the internet, everyone
Paul: well
apparenlty
anything you put up on youtube is subsequently owned by youtube
12:43 PM Michael: hmmm
and now google
which bought youtube yesterday for $1.65 billion
Paul: i heard. bastards.
oh
12:44 PM go on youtube and check out "fat kid ride" and "japanese game show nuts" for searches
both are hysterical
Michael: i can't now, but i'll try to remember later
Paul: indeed
work and whatnot
Michael: i've seen the japanese nuts game show actually, that IS hilarious
12:45 PM andrew sullivan linked it a week or two ago
the fat kids one i'll have to check out
yes, work
Paul: ah, andrew sullivan. i'm interested in his book that came out today
12:46 PM Michael: oh yeah
what's his topic?
12:48 PM Paul: something about saving conservatism from fundamentalists and extremists. the roots of reason and religion in conservatism along with the basic tenets of small gov't and fiscal responsibility. i think. seems like an interesting and at the very least intelligent read
12:49 PM Michael: oooh, interesting, i'm sure it'll be an intelligent read
and yeah, conservatism is heading in a terrifyingly awful direction
12:50 PM Paul: yeah. moderate republicans and moderate democrats should form a new party.
they at least allow for disagreement and rational debate. a party that allowed that within its own structure would be a welcome change
12:51 PM Michael: i have been thinking the same thing
12:52 PM it's almost impossible to form a centrist party though
oh well
Paul: yeah, but it COULD happen. it's about time too.
Michael: agreed
let's be engines for political change!
Paul: i mean we used to have progressives and federalists and whigs. why not make a new party again?
Michael: nah, that sounds hard, let's drink beer and vomit on our shoes!
Paul: YES
12:53 PM Michael: YES
another compromise
Paul: that'll be our foundation for political activism. drinking
Michael: it'll be the opposite of the temperance movement
12:54 PM Paul: the inebrationists
Michael:
nicely done
Paul: "abolitionists?" no no, my good man. here, have a drink
Michael: i have to get back to work
Paul: keep on keeping on
12:55 PM Michael: look over the whiskyfest stuff and get back me when you can
you too pops
you too
Paul: i will. a pleasure as always
Michael: as always
cheers
Monday, June 16, 2008
Friday - 10/6/06
5:04 PM Paul: me too. i want two beers
one for each hand
5:05 PM Michael: make that so
stat
Paul: one for each.....liver?
Michael: i prescribe 30 cc's of stout, stat!
5:06 PM Paul: to the draught factory!
Michael: i'm on my way
Paul: the brewatorium, where the beerologists excavate the alcoholonomics for our goblets?
5:07 PM
Michael: the SAME
5:08 PM Paul: oooo, that's capitalismtastic! tastes like reaganomics!
Michael: trickle down to my mouth
5:09 PM Paul: transform the globe into a delicious drink
5:10 PM Michael: oh my yes
i gtg
have the weekend to end all weekends
except for the next one
Paul: adios
5:12 PM Michael: oh i meant to tell you, i hear great things about The Departed
Paul: me too
might see it tonight
haven't decided
Michael: if so, let me know how it is
Paul: indeed
5:13 PM you take it to the streets, and don't turn back til you turn it out
Michael: will do, cheers mate
one for each hand
5:05 PM Michael: make that so
stat
Paul: one for each.....liver?
Michael: i prescribe 30 cc's of stout, stat!
5:06 PM Paul: to the draught factory!
Michael: i'm on my way
Paul: the brewatorium, where the beerologists excavate the alcoholonomics for our goblets?
5:07 PM
Michael: the SAME
5:08 PM Paul: oooo, that's capitalismtastic! tastes like reaganomics!
Michael: trickle down to my mouth
5:09 PM Paul: transform the globe into a delicious drink
5:10 PM Michael: oh my yes
i gtg
have the weekend to end all weekends
except for the next one
Paul: adios
5:12 PM Michael: oh i meant to tell you, i hear great things about The Departed
Paul: me too
might see it tonight
haven't decided
Michael: if so, let me know how it is
Paul: indeed
5:13 PM you take it to the streets, and don't turn back til you turn it out
Michael: will do, cheers mate
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Wednesday - 10/4/06
11:52 AM Paul: is that a kitten hitler?
Michael: YES
Paul: out to cleanse the cat race
Michael: have you been to catsthatlooklikehitler.com?
Paul: oh shit
i have
but not in a while
Michael: i love that site
Paul: i was just guessing
Michael: the "best kitlers" section is excellent
Paul: hahaha
11:53 AM i feel like all jews should own one. and all neo-nazis should be forced to have pet monkeys
they can throw their feces, intellectual and otherwise, at each other
Michael: they should be forced to have a cat that looks like a rabbi
Paul: hahahahaha
11:54 AM Michael: ha feces throwing
Paul: truly, if we were in charge...
Michael: these would be the rules
if only
so when are you starting your blog?
11:55 AM Paul: soon. soon. i feel like i have to start it off with a really good review, and i'm getting "license to drive" (a corey haim/corey feldman masterpiece) in the mail soon. so after i watch that? a week or two?
Michael: sounds good
11:56 AM and i'll review your review
Paul:"he's especially NOT a genius"
Michael: haahaha
11:57 AM "Overall I give Paul's review one star. Don't bother reading it. Don't even go to his blog."
11:58 AM Paul: are you reading this right now? STOP! leave here, never to return. farewell.
Michael: bye
Paul: bye yourself
why isn't your last name "gilette" or "sony"?
11:59 AM Michael: haha
it was, but i changed it so i could blend in with commoners
my last name is really "The Queen of England" - That's right, I'm Michael The Queen of England
12:00 PM Paul: Michael T. Queen of England
Michael: Michael T. Queen O'England
it's irish
12:01 PM
Paul: why aren't we being paid to do this for a living?
Michael: i ask myself that everytime we have a conversation
at least gmail saves them, so we can mine them for pure comedy gold later
Paul: we should be put into a think tank. writers and creative types can poach our ideas and build them into shows and films and books
Michael: and we get all the profits
12:02 PM indeed, we should start just such a think tank
Paul: do we know anyone who will let us do that?
12:04 PM Michael: people will come to us and say, "i have an idea for a movie, but i'm not sure this character's developed enough" and we'll say "character development, plot and dialogue are all secondary in film to visual gimmicks and a faux-emotional indie soundtrack
that'll be twenty dollars"
12:05 PM Paul: hahahaha
12:06 PM Michael: i gtg
Paul: funnily enough, purpler rain is probably the most ridiculous film ever written. we realize it time and again as we work on stuff for it, then return to the script and rediscover lines such as "they've taken all the brownies"
Michael: but there shall be more merriment later
Paul: "only the brownies of man's dignity"
Michael: hahaha
12:07 PM Paul: tata
Michael: is a brownie more than the dessert we all imagine we could eat?
Paul: probably not
Michael: ok peace
Michael: YES
Paul: out to cleanse the cat race
Michael: have you been to catsthatlooklikehitler.com?
Paul: oh shit
i have
but not in a while
Michael: i love that site
Paul: i was just guessing
Michael: the "best kitlers" section is excellent
Paul: hahaha
11:53 AM i feel like all jews should own one. and all neo-nazis should be forced to have pet monkeys
they can throw their feces, intellectual and otherwise, at each other
Michael: they should be forced to have a cat that looks like a rabbi
Paul: hahahahaha
11:54 AM Michael: ha feces throwing
Paul: truly, if we were in charge...
Michael: these would be the rules
if only
so when are you starting your blog?
11:55 AM Paul: soon. soon. i feel like i have to start it off with a really good review, and i'm getting "license to drive" (a corey haim/corey feldman masterpiece) in the mail soon. so after i watch that? a week or two?
Michael: sounds good
11:56 AM and i'll review your review
Paul:"he's especially NOT a genius"
Michael: haahaha
11:57 AM "Overall I give Paul's review one star. Don't bother reading it. Don't even go to his blog."
11:58 AM Paul: are you reading this right now? STOP! leave here, never to return. farewell.
Michael: bye
Paul: bye yourself
why isn't your last name "gilette" or "sony"?
11:59 AM Michael: haha
it was, but i changed it so i could blend in with commoners
my last name is really "The Queen of England" - That's right, I'm Michael The Queen of England
12:00 PM Paul: Michael T. Queen of England
Michael: Michael T. Queen O'England
it's irish
12:01 PM
Paul: why aren't we being paid to do this for a living?
Michael: i ask myself that everytime we have a conversation
at least gmail saves them, so we can mine them for pure comedy gold later
Paul: we should be put into a think tank. writers and creative types can poach our ideas and build them into shows and films and books
Michael: and we get all the profits
12:02 PM indeed, we should start just such a think tank
Paul: do we know anyone who will let us do that?
12:04 PM Michael: people will come to us and say, "i have an idea for a movie, but i'm not sure this character's developed enough" and we'll say "character development, plot and dialogue are all secondary in film to visual gimmicks and a faux-emotional indie soundtrack
that'll be twenty dollars"
12:05 PM Paul: hahahaha
12:06 PM Michael: i gtg
Paul: funnily enough, purpler rain is probably the most ridiculous film ever written. we realize it time and again as we work on stuff for it, then return to the script and rediscover lines such as "they've taken all the brownies"
Michael: but there shall be more merriment later
Paul: "only the brownies of man's dignity"
Michael: hahaha
12:07 PM Paul: tata
Michael: is a brownie more than the dessert we all imagine we could eat?
Paul: probably not
Michael: ok peace
Friday, June 6, 2008
Tuesday - 10/3/06
1:26 PM Michael: "Maybe that's all family really is. A group of people who miss the same imaginary place."
i'm deep
Paul: that is the most faux deep piece of poop next to some wachowski brothers philosophical review
boom
1:27 PM i said it
Michael: jajajajaja
no, mr. braff, that's not at all what a family is
Paul: i'm thinking of starting a blog of film reviews - dvds that i happen to watch, current films in the theater, whatevs. maybe have a few other people write too. mine, of course, will all be hilarious
1:28 PM Michael: YES
i will read that ALL the time
and make suggestions too
you must
Paul: would you like to write?
Michael: definitely
Paul: so it shall be
Michael: call it "Garden State of Mind"
Paul: hahahaha
Michael: or "The Braff factory"
1:29 PM Paul: well, that would be the name of a review, i think
and to write that review, i'd have to watch the movie again, or watch the other braff film
1:30 PM Michael: oh no
then it's not worth it
Paul: neither of which do i want to do
exactly
although one day there is bound to be a rant against braff on there
but yes, the blog will need a good name
and need to be updated regularly
1:32 PM Michael: how about "Paul and Me: A Paul Cannon Blog"
Paul: well, if there are other people writing, it should just be me. although, "The Paul Cannon Fund: Money for Paul Cannon" does have a ring to it
1:33 PM Michael: yeah that's a good one, or "Paul and Friends: Will You Be Paul's Friend"
1:34 PM Paul: no no "You WILL" not "will you"
Michael: yes
Paul: How about "it stinks!"
Michael: yes
1:35 PM that's the motto
1:37 PM how about "Paul's Magical Film Blog From Beyond the Moon: It Stinks!"
1:38 PM Paul: Something with "Death Squad" in it - since there's me, alex, jon, and you. mostly me and alex, i'm sure, but with insight from you and jon whenever you happen to see a film
Michael: it doesnt have to be exclusively films in theaters now i assume
Paul: "Celluloid Death Squad"
1:39 PM no
whatever you happen to watch
Michael: "The American Motion Picture Evening Revue"
Paul: i saw part of "silent movie" last night - i say part b/c i turned it off it was so bad
but i could review that, for example
Michael: right
i saw that a long time ago
1:40 PM Paul: sooooooo awful
anyway, i must go do work. i'll be back
Michael: "Citizen Paul and the Film Brigade"
ok, later
i'm deep
Paul: that is the most faux deep piece of poop next to some wachowski brothers philosophical review
boom
1:27 PM i said it
Michael: jajajajaja
no, mr. braff, that's not at all what a family is
Paul: i'm thinking of starting a blog of film reviews - dvds that i happen to watch, current films in the theater, whatevs. maybe have a few other people write too. mine, of course, will all be hilarious
1:28 PM Michael: YES
i will read that ALL the time
and make suggestions too
you must
Paul: would you like to write?
Michael: definitely
Paul: so it shall be
Michael: call it "Garden State of Mind"
Paul: hahahaha
Michael: or "The Braff factory"
1:29 PM Paul: well, that would be the name of a review, i think
and to write that review, i'd have to watch the movie again, or watch the other braff film
1:30 PM Michael: oh no
then it's not worth it
Paul: neither of which do i want to do
exactly
although one day there is bound to be a rant against braff on there
but yes, the blog will need a good name
and need to be updated regularly
1:32 PM Michael: how about "Paul and Me: A Paul Cannon Blog"
Paul: well, if there are other people writing, it should just be me. although, "The Paul Cannon Fund: Money for Paul Cannon" does have a ring to it
1:33 PM Michael: yeah that's a good one, or "Paul and Friends: Will You Be Paul's Friend"
1:34 PM Paul: no no "You WILL" not "will you"
Michael: yes
Paul: How about "it stinks!"
Michael: yes
1:35 PM that's the motto
1:37 PM how about "Paul's Magical Film Blog From Beyond the Moon: It Stinks!"
1:38 PM Paul: Something with "Death Squad" in it - since there's me, alex, jon, and you. mostly me and alex, i'm sure, but with insight from you and jon whenever you happen to see a film
Michael: it doesnt have to be exclusively films in theaters now i assume
Paul: "Celluloid Death Squad"
1:39 PM no
whatever you happen to watch
Michael: "The American Motion Picture Evening Revue"
Paul: i saw part of "silent movie" last night - i say part b/c i turned it off it was so bad
but i could review that, for example
Michael: right
i saw that a long time ago
1:40 PM Paul: sooooooo awful
anyway, i must go do work. i'll be back
Michael: "Citizen Paul and the Film Brigade"
ok, later
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Tuesday - 9/29/06
10:37 AM Michael: hey man
10:38 AM Paul: hello, man
Michael: how goes?
Paul: meh. yourself?
Michael: meh indeed
10:39 AM Paul: give me tons of money
Michael: i'm bored
ok
Paul: that's the ticket
Michael: i'm sending over the first ton now
so i fully intend to be in NYC on the weekend of nov. 3
10:41 AM Paul: that's mags b-day. there will be much pomp and more drinking
Michael: i know, i intend to join
Paul: huzza
Michael: will you be in the same apartment then?
10:42 AM Paul: i guess. unless i move on up suddenly. like in that show, what was it called?
Michael: lost in space
10:43 AM Paul: yes. that's the one.
10:44 AM Michael: i wrote that show, and co-directed the christmas special "Lost in Space Goes to the Manger"
Paul: oh, that was a gem among diamonds and gold
10:45 AM Michael: and frankensense
Paul: and that other one, what was it?
10:46 AM Michael: crystal meth
Paul: a sack of dimes?
Michael:
when i'm rich, i think i'll have all my wealth converted into sacks of dimes
Paul: no, golden dollars. just to be a pest
10:47 AM Michael: imagine buying a car with sacks of dimes
10:48 AM Paul: or paying bills? an envelope with a sack in it. with dimes in it.
10:49 AM Michael: ha
also good
Paul: imagine buying tons of sacks with a sack of dimes? is that some sort of irony? or poetry?
10:50 AM Michael: isnt it both
i'll open a dime-only bank
10:51 AM how's dan doing?
i should call that kid
the pats and bengals play this weekend
10:56 AM Paul: brb
Michael: ok
5 minutes
11:01 AM Paul: sorry about that, champ
Michael: no worries pops
11:02 AM Paul: how's the paralegalizing?
11:03 AM Michael: eh, it's fine in general, lot of hours = lots of money, but much of the time has not been too exciting
11:04 AM
Paul: holy crap. how much you working?
Michael: about 50 hours a week when jewish holidays haven't interfered (and they have to some extent and will continue to do so)
Paul: yom kippur's on monday i'm told
11:06 AM Michael: you are so right
i'm impressed
Paul: my boss asked me: are you taking off the monday holiday?
and i said: what holiday?
so yeah, be impressed
11:07 AM Michael: you should have said "yes i am. what holiday?"
Paul: hahaha
11:09 AM Michael: you still havent sent me your glorious sp
Paul: my what now?
Michael: screenplay
Paul: oooo
11:10 AM right
Michael: it's alright
Paul: well, we haven't modified it with the latest changes yet
Michael: i see
whenever
take your time, and i'll keep bugging you
and then you'll write and send a fake screenplay to placate me
11:11 AM Paul: it'll be about a Markle Dusnitsky
Michael: it'll be 15 pages of "You suck mike" "yes i do, paul" "i really hate you mike" "Your fly is unzipped, paul"
11:12 AM
Markle Dusnitsky
Paul: oddly enough i just checked my fly
Michael: and?
Paul: twice. and it's zipped. you lying liar
Michael: i tricked you with my brain
but seriously, you have ink on your face
11:13 AM Paul: i do not! oh wait...
i do not!
11:14 AM Michael: oh! good news
Exterminating Angel just came out on DVD
with english subtitles of course
Paul: buy it for me
Michael: it costs $40 new
Paul: oooo
pricy
11:15 AM you know, my favorite holiday, the "givepaulfreethingsday" is coming up
Michael: i will buy it for you on one condition, you buy me that dream i always wanted
11:16 AM Paul: oh, the dreamhouse you've always dreamed about?!
11:17 AM Michael: yes but it's beyond everything
11:22 AM Paul: i'm afraid i bought that dream
and then i blew it up
Michael: you're a cruel mistress
Paul: indeed
11:23 AM Michael: maybe i should buy it for maggie's birthday and she''ll give it to you, thereby gaining me favor in two people's eyes
11:25 AM or maybe i'll buy maggie a bowling bowl that says "Paul" on it
11:26 AM ball
a bowling bowl - i'm hysterical
Paul: that would be amazing
you are
it's true
11:27 AM Michael: in my office they call me "the funny one" but that is also followed by "that nerdy, Jewish kid that always reeks of whisky"
Paul: that's why we're friends. well, one reason.
the other is because i'm jewish
11:28 AM Michael: both good reasons
i don't talk to non-jews
11:29 AM Paul: that's so true
gufaw
Michael: scoff
let's throw our gold at them!
we control the media, we can always make more
11:31 AM i'm thinking of converting to catholicism, can you describe its benefits package for me?
Paul: you get salvation. you get jesus. he's pretty cool, i gotta say. and you get communion. if you want.
Michael: free wine at church??
i'm so in
11:32 AM Paul: it's actually wine AND a wafer
both transubstantiated
Michael: for my eating pleasure
11:33 AM that sounds like a good deal though, can have it shipped to my house? in boxes, ideally
Paul: ha. you'd have to be really desperate to try to have that as a snack. you're sacreligious. i don't like you anymore.
also, you taste like a burger
brb
Michael: but i want to telesalavate
ok
7 minutes
11:41 AM Paul: we should market telesalavation on qvc
11:44 AM Michael: haha
good idea
11:45 AM i lost all my momentum during your absence
now i need coffee
10:38 AM Paul: hello, man
Michael: how goes?
Paul: meh. yourself?
Michael: meh indeed
10:39 AM Paul: give me tons of money
Michael: i'm bored
ok
Paul: that's the ticket
Michael: i'm sending over the first ton now
so i fully intend to be in NYC on the weekend of nov. 3
10:41 AM Paul: that's mags b-day. there will be much pomp and more drinking
Michael: i know, i intend to join
Paul: huzza
Michael: will you be in the same apartment then?
10:42 AM Paul: i guess. unless i move on up suddenly. like in that show, what was it called?
Michael: lost in space
10:43 AM Paul: yes. that's the one.
10:44 AM Michael: i wrote that show, and co-directed the christmas special "Lost in Space Goes to the Manger"
Paul: oh, that was a gem among diamonds and gold
10:45 AM Michael: and frankensense
Paul: and that other one, what was it?
10:46 AM Michael: crystal meth
Paul: a sack of dimes?
Michael:
when i'm rich, i think i'll have all my wealth converted into sacks of dimes
Paul: no, golden dollars. just to be a pest
10:47 AM Michael: imagine buying a car with sacks of dimes
10:48 AM Paul: or paying bills? an envelope with a sack in it. with dimes in it.
10:49 AM Michael: ha
also good
Paul: imagine buying tons of sacks with a sack of dimes? is that some sort of irony? or poetry?
10:50 AM Michael: isnt it both
i'll open a dime-only bank
10:51 AM how's dan doing?
i should call that kid
the pats and bengals play this weekend
10:56 AM Paul: brb
Michael: ok
5 minutes
11:01 AM Paul: sorry about that, champ
Michael: no worries pops
11:02 AM Paul: how's the paralegalizing?
11:03 AM Michael: eh, it's fine in general, lot of hours = lots of money, but much of the time has not been too exciting
11:04 AM
Paul: holy crap. how much you working?
Michael: about 50 hours a week when jewish holidays haven't interfered (and they have to some extent and will continue to do so)
Paul: yom kippur's on monday i'm told
11:06 AM Michael: you are so right
i'm impressed
Paul: my boss asked me: are you taking off the monday holiday?
and i said: what holiday?
so yeah, be impressed
11:07 AM Michael: you should have said "yes i am. what holiday?"
Paul: hahaha
11:09 AM Michael: you still havent sent me your glorious sp
Paul: my what now?
Michael: screenplay
Paul: oooo
11:10 AM right
Michael: it's alright
Paul: well, we haven't modified it with the latest changes yet
Michael: i see
whenever
take your time, and i'll keep bugging you
and then you'll write and send a fake screenplay to placate me
11:11 AM Paul: it'll be about a Markle Dusnitsky
Michael: it'll be 15 pages of "You suck mike" "yes i do, paul" "i really hate you mike" "Your fly is unzipped, paul"
11:12 AM
Markle Dusnitsky
Paul: oddly enough i just checked my fly
Michael: and?
Paul: twice. and it's zipped. you lying liar
Michael: i tricked you with my brain
but seriously, you have ink on your face
11:13 AM Paul: i do not! oh wait...
i do not!
11:14 AM Michael: oh! good news
Exterminating Angel just came out on DVD
with english subtitles of course
Paul: buy it for me
Michael: it costs $40 new
Paul: oooo
pricy
11:15 AM you know, my favorite holiday, the "givepaulfreethingsday" is coming up
Michael: i will buy it for you on one condition, you buy me that dream i always wanted
11:16 AM Paul: oh, the dreamhouse you've always dreamed about?!
11:17 AM Michael: yes but it's beyond everything
11:22 AM Paul: i'm afraid i bought that dream
and then i blew it up
Michael: you're a cruel mistress
Paul: indeed
11:23 AM Michael: maybe i should buy it for maggie's birthday and she''ll give it to you, thereby gaining me favor in two people's eyes
11:25 AM or maybe i'll buy maggie a bowling bowl that says "Paul" on it
11:26 AM ball
a bowling bowl - i'm hysterical
Paul: that would be amazing
you are
it's true
11:27 AM Michael: in my office they call me "the funny one" but that is also followed by "that nerdy, Jewish kid that always reeks of whisky"
Paul: that's why we're friends. well, one reason.
the other is because i'm jewish
11:28 AM Michael: both good reasons
i don't talk to non-jews
11:29 AM Paul: that's so true
gufaw
Michael: scoff
let's throw our gold at them!
we control the media, we can always make more
11:31 AM i'm thinking of converting to catholicism, can you describe its benefits package for me?
Paul: you get salvation. you get jesus. he's pretty cool, i gotta say. and you get communion. if you want.
Michael: free wine at church??
i'm so in
11:32 AM Paul: it's actually wine AND a wafer
both transubstantiated
Michael: for my eating pleasure
11:33 AM that sounds like a good deal though, can have it shipped to my house? in boxes, ideally
Paul: ha. you'd have to be really desperate to try to have that as a snack. you're sacreligious. i don't like you anymore.
also, you taste like a burger
brb
Michael: but i want to telesalavate
ok
7 minutes
11:41 AM Paul: we should market telesalavation on qvc
11:44 AM Michael: haha
good idea
11:45 AM i lost all my momentum during your absence
now i need coffee
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