Tuesday - 11/14/06

5:16 PM Michael: you're that kid that everybody's talking about
Paul: i am not. everybody's smelling me. everybody's talking about you.
Michael: steve buscemi
5:17 PM talk and smelling are practically the same thing
-confucious
you can't go against confucious paul
Paul: "smells like laughter"- Santa Claus
Michael: damn
5:18 PM impressive
"the stench of failure reeks of joy"-winston churchill
5:19 PM "cinnabuns"-Billy the Kid
5:20 PM Paul: "hello, my name is abraham lincoln"- robert e. lee
"would you like to taste my cakes?"- cortez
Michael: "I'm a material girl."-Shakespeare
5:21 PM Paul: "this is so hilarious"- me
Michael: "this is the conversation i've always wanted"-The Baptist
Paul: "Make mine a Guiness"- Queen Victoria
5:22 PM "How does that thing work?"- Olivia Newton John, responding to a question about vaginas
Michael: "Oh, my spleen!"-Joan of Arc
5:23 PM Paul: "How much wood can a woodchuck chuck?"- Samuel Adams
Michael: "We'll have to perform a colonoscopy."-Marilyn Monroe
5:25 PM Paul: "This tastes like science!"- Frankenstein
Michael: "Speak softly and carry a big stick."-The librarian ghost from ghostbusters
5:26 PM Paul: "Havarti? NOOOOO!"- Marc Antony
we should publish this and call it "Mike and Paul's Big Book of Fake Quotes"
Michael: "Let's do another line."-Pope John Paul II
yes we should
5:27 PM Paul: "Have you seen my pants?"- Margaret Thatcher
5:28 PM Michael: "Girls have no place in schools."-Princess Di
5:29 PM Paul: "This tastes like cheeeeese."- King Tut
5:31 PM Michael: "Four cheese pizzas and four pepperoni."-Moses
5:32 PM "Where's my IPod?"-George Washington
Paul: "Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives."- that deaf/blind/mute girl, what's her name?
5:33 PM Michael: helen keller
Paul: "This KFed CD like, totally rocks."- John Wilks Booth
"Semper Fi..."- Ho Chi Mihn
5:34 PM Michael: "Of all the gin joints in all the world, she has to walk into mine....KAAAAAAAAHHHHHNNNNNN!!!!!!!"-Ruth Bader Ginsberg
:(
Paul: "Do you know the way to San Jose?"- Gertrude Stein
5:35 PM Michael: "Why does Elton John live in Atlanta?"-Elton John's mother
5:36 PM Paul: "Have you seen her face lately? Horrid."- Chelsea Clinton's mom
5:38 PM Michael: "The most anticipated movie event of the year."-Idi Amin
5:39 PM Paul: "Why would you say something like that?"- Ronald Reagan's zombie
"Make mine a double."
- mike
5:40 PM Michael: "Where do babies come from?"-Sir Isaac Newton
Paul: "Did you ever know that you're my hero?"- Herbert Hoover, singing in the mirror
Michael: "I must go, let's do this again sometime."-Mike the Tired
Paul: "Mom said you got me from the store."- Prince William
ok
5:41 PM Michael: "Peace."-Mussolini
LATER THAT SAME DAY
6:54 PM Paul: "Ovulation!"
- Martha Stewart, describing what prison is like